Every Day's April Fools Day at Sandwell

I don't know. I only have to turn my back for 5 minutes and away Sandwell goes again!

 Do you remember me saying that Sandwell had put up lamp posts round one of the car parks at Sandwell Valley and round the tennis courts? And do you also remember me marvelling at this - not just because Sandwell, like everywhere else, should be saving every penny it can in these straitened times, but also because the access gates to these areas are locked at dusk thereby limiting the apparent use to which these lights can be put.

 Well, if you, like me, thought that Sandwell had gone off at half cock again, you would have been quite wrong. Of course the Sandwell Intelligentsia had not gone off at half cock. The Special Lighting Secretariat had clearly thought this apparent wasteful action through thoroughly, and gone off at full cock. 

Why?

 Because, dear people, those few lights were only one part of the master plan, more of which is being unfolded as I write. Lamp posts have since sprouted all the way down from the Salters Lane entrance, past the lamp post encircled car park and tennis courts, to the Sandwell Farm car park, and there are tell-tale yellow rings here and there which suggest that more are yet to be sited round it.

 Apart from the fact that this enlarged venture has enabled Sandwell to squander even more money needlessly, it has provided the added bonus of allowing Sandwell to hire yet more arboreal specialists to chop down yet more trees. But, you may ask, why, if the access gates to these areas are locked at dusk, have Sandwell installed lights? And here's the clever bit which ordinary folk like me would never have thought of.

 The lights have been installed because there are going to be at least some parts of the year when the access gates will not be locked at dusk. Why? Well I am told that it is so that people can play tennis, or football, or visit the farm in the dark!!! Apparently Sandwell are planning to keep the farm open until 8.00pm in the Autumn. That's just what I have been told and it could be wrong, of course. But, that the lamp posts are there, is undeniable.

 Eureka!!!! Another great step forward for Sandwell. I await the next few weeks with great expectation. Could it be that the Special Lighting Secretariat has planned that the lamp posts will continue on beyond the farm, over the motorway bridge, to Swan Pool, so that people can go and see the ducks in the dark as well?

You've got to hand it to them haven't you. What vision. Well, night vision anyway. This should guarantee Sandwell's 2014 Green Flag.

 PS. I actually started writing this on 1st April - hence the title - but I am having so much trouble understanding this site since it had to move from Google to Google Chrome that I have almost given up the will to live. And where have all the paragraph breaks gone? This wasn't written as a solid block. There's something wrong somewhere and I don't think it's me this time!!

PPS I think I've found out how to do paragraphs !! (Dec 2012)